Peeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuwwwww!!

Ok. I realise that London has a fabulous transport system. No...that isn't tongue in cheek. All you whinging poms can come to Sydney for a bit to see that an average wait between trains is 15mins. Try that in 38 degree heat. Still bitching about London Transport? I think not. On a recent trip to Oz, I had the painstaking wait of 23 minutes for a train that would take me 7 stops. I was so appalled I took a photo of the timeboard for proof. Sad but true. Preston does indeed have too much time on her hands.

Back to the reason for this blog. I have to admit that for the past year, I have been spoilt in terms of transport. I have cycled everywhere, avoiding the major human congestion that seems to pool around anything that helps them get their fat asses on a seat with wheels (or to that effect).

So with my recent knee problems and job promotion (leading to me having to wear adult clothes), I have been catching PT at peak times. Maybe I should rephrase that to 'being herded onto PT'.

Squeezed into tight spaces with people is bad enough, but couple that with a 30 degree day and an obvious absence of 'working' deodorant, I am simply beside myself. The other morning, whilst pressed up against a girl with 'Frankenfurter' make - up, I felt quite ill, as the concoction of alien smells hit my nose like a swarm of flatulent bees. I sniffed.....I coughed....I sniffed again. 'What the hell is that smell?', I thought to myself. Then it dawned on me. It's a cocktail of stale clothes and morning breathe (I can hear you all heaving at this point). Inside my head I was screaming 'GET A TOOTHBRUSH AND A WASHING MACHINE'.

And don't get me started on the plain shittiness of the mobile phone conversations going on around me. 'I fink Spain will be brilliant'....and Miss Queen of the Mundane's obvious fashion dilemma...' They didn't have my size so I got a smaller one which really makes my bum look be**ar (better without the t).

Oh....and the girl who got on my semi-packed train at Putney last Tuesday. Can I just say that honey....if you're wearing a backpack, it increases the the circumference of your TURNING CIRCLE! Therefore, any sudden moves left or right, take out the people in your immediate vicinity. DUH!

Needless to say, Preston is very much looking forward to hopping back on Ruprect for the majority of her travels. Now, my only problem is how to negotiate turning up to work in sweaty lycra and maintaining a professional image....hmmmmmmmmm