Read This And Try Not To Laugh Till You Cry!!

This email was cc to me from my friend Scott (otherwise known as Beryl Motion). It was sent from Greg (otherwise known as Elizabeth Hitler).

Firstly some background.Quite some time ago, long enough that the remedial and cognitive therapies are seeming to help me forget, Scott donned a wig and frock, and became the worst female impressionist I have ever had the misfortune of being associated with.

Read on.......

Hi everyone,

By now i'm sure it's general knowledge that the
infamous original Beryl Ursula Motion wig is no more,
the red curly wonder that looked as if it had been
platted, threaded and knitted from Nicole Kidmans own
welcome mat has gone, vanished forever.

I'm sure a nest of rats scammpered up the outdoor
shitter and carried it down from the cistern, i have
visions of the rats using Beryls wig as a birthing
facility, and i'd like to think that the rat that will
be gnawing away at Beryls court heeled ankle when
she's collapsed in the gutter outside the shift* will
have sprung from the curls of Beryls original hair
piece .. call me old fashioned, but i find something
romantic, if not 'just' in that.

Of course Beryl is never one to let the grass grow
under her feet .. or worse, so she is on the hunt for
a new polyester comb over, she was beside herself with
glee when i showed her my latest purchase, an original
Eva Gabor wig! needless to say she had ripped open the
box and foisted the lice ridden piece onto her head
before i could say 'You are my wife, GOODBYYYYYE city
life'

If you see Beryl adorned with this anytime soon on
Oxford street .. hit her with a stick, chase her down
the street thrashing at her the whole way, swish at
her ankles! .. she is the reverse pied piper of
Hamlin, instead of leading the rats out of the city
she is bringing them in!!

Liz xoxo

* The Shift - An extremely nasty low down gay bar on Sydneys main 'pink parade' - the beloved Oxford St. When patrons arrive a requirement is to check their morals at the door.