PRESTON'S DEFCON

Woke up today feeling like I'd been battered around the head and body with a wet mackeral. Seems like Preston's supremo immune system has given the all-clear to a virus that has wiped the usually 'can't touch this' health.

What does this mean, I hear you all ask? What does it look like? Well, I have adapted the US weapons readiness system DEFCON to paint a most vivid picture.

PRESTON'S DEFCON

DEFCON 5 - Normal Preston health (climbing mountains/fighting crocodiles/giving lip)
DEFCON 4 - Normal Preston health without mountains, an increased tendency to whinge, if fighting crocodiles the croc may win
DEFCON 3 - Increase in whinge readiness. Verbally citing how crap I feel.
DEFCON 2 - Further increase in whinge readiness, visibally scary, eyeballs red, complexion pasty
DEFCON 1 - Maximum whinge readiness, fully prepared to walk onlookers through how crapulent I feel , unable to eat, flat out like a lizard drinkin

I am teetering between a 2 and a 1 at the moment, and I must say that Preston is most unimpressed. I hate getting sick, especially when it's hot. Yesterday, I could only stare out the window, and wonder what it would be like to experience the 30 degree temperatures that the rest of London were enjoying. Today, another 30 degree day. What this means, is that I'm confused as to whether my temperature is real or if it's just my body reacting to the 'once in a lifetime' London temperatures.

Typical I say. Even as a child, I used to shrug off the winter challenges and forge ahead like a thoroughbred, sickness free, only to find that on came summer with all its joys, and Preston would catch something or another. For years, I have fended off lurgy's left right and centre, feeling very full of myself indeed. 'Moi? Oh I never get sick. I have a supreme immune system'.

Bugger.