Woman Seeks gay Man

I was sitting around last night, scoffing down some dinner and knocking back a glass of very lovely Chilean Shiraz, talking to my flatmate 'Thomas',(an American chick who has moved from the states to London to marry my other flatmate 'Young').....and we got to talking.

She, like me, has a bevy of gay male friends back in her country of origin, and we were laughing at some comments they had posted on her blog. I started telling her a story about when I went to a Drag Ball, (another story to tell you all), with a couple of my close mates.

We both agreed that indeed we are a couple of 'Fag Hags'. Suddenly, the penny dropped and I blurted out....."Oh my god.......we are Fagless Fag Hags...." All our gay mates are back in our respective birth countries, but we are yet to make any gay friends here! God, I knew something was missing in my life, but who knew?

And now we are both faced with the predicament.....we have to find gay boyfriends. Thomas suggested we put out an ad in the personals. I suggested we 'trawl' a couple of the bars on Old Compton Street.

If I had a gay boyfriend here, my life would definitely have taken a different turn. Firstly, they would have NEVER let me leave the house in several of the outfits I have worn in the past. It would have been ".....nah-hah girlfriend....not with those shoes and jacket...."

I would of had a party to celebrate watching the Eurovision Song Contest and people would have actually come to it! I would have had a guy to cry my 'men woes' to, who would have empathisized - 'sweetie....they're ALL BASTARDS!' I would get free haircuts.... I would have a guy to go out dancing with who can actually dance (as opposed to the embarrassing shuffle I have witnessed from my hetero-male friends).And the list goes on.

If there are any gay men out there, for gods sake, put the gay word out. Thomas and I are desperate!