Folks.........We have a rival!!


I just love a good film. I also equally love a bad one. But not just bad. Unbelievably bad. The kind of bad, that after watching it, you have a satisfied feeling in your stomach, knowing that you have just experienced something truly horrific. Something that you can host parties around, set competitions to and award prizes for. Prizes like...most fluffed line, most cringeworthy moment, most overacted facial expression and last but not least most tragic scriptwriting.

My most loved bad movie is of course Showgirls. I will never forget my friend Tim, prepping me for the impending theatrical disaster by daring me to pick out the defining moment which heralded to me how truly bad this movie was about to be.

I watched it with about 8 other people, all crammed into a small lounge room in the inner city suburb of Erskineville (Sydney). We often had to pause the movie for not being able to hear the dialogue over the laughing. Funny thing that, as there was not one intentional funny moment in the whole film. The whole experience, with tears streaming down our cheeks whilst awaiting the next 'clanger' of a line, was truly fulfilling.

Upon comparison, several of us had different defining moments. Mine was when Elizabeth Berkley, in complete overact mode, threw herself onto the top of a car crying, with her fries and coke flying everywhere. Terrible....just terrible. My friend Tim's defining moment was, after being hit on by a driver who had picked her up hitchhiking, she pulled a flick knife on him. That girl could not act her way out of a New Zealand soap I tell ya.

So, it is with great joy, that I announce that I think we have a rival! Oh yes, Showgirls may well have an evil twin. Now, it may be slightly premature of me to report this, but from what I've seen, it has all the markings of a true clanger.

Its name is Domino. I caught about 40minutes of it on a recent long haul flight. Apparently what I was watching was a directors cut.

The premise of the film goes along the lines of....poor affected ex-catwalk model, public schooly and rich girl becomes a blood thirsty bounty hunter. Sounding good isn't it? Get this.......Keira Knightly plays lead.

Fabulous moments
1. Keira in teenage distant deep thinker mode, sitting on the edge of the pool in their beverly Hills mansion playing with numchuckers and perfecting her ninja style knife throwing technique.

2. Keira (in a flashback) being bumped on the catwalk by a fellow model and reacting by dragging her to the ground by her hair.

3. Keira defusing a mexican stand off involving about 20 guns, by offering the head crim a lap dance


Just APPALLING!

What could really seal the fate of this flick??? You guessed it. Mickey Rourke co-stars.

Now...i must admit. I had to turn it off after 40min as I was so tired and felt that this was a flick I would have to watch with friends. But if the first 40min is anything to go by...why friends...we have a gem on our hands