Make Mine a Super Delux


Chatting online to a girlfriend this morning got me to thinking about men (yet again I hear you say).

She was describing a guy she had started seeing. After meeting online, knowing each other for several months, and having met up a few times, he is now moving from Brisbane to Sydney to 'set up shop' with her.

The conversation went something like this (please excuse unsavoury subject matter):

Preston: well...before too long, you will be picking his skidmark undies outta the laundry bin on washing day.
Girlfriend: Actually, he is a neat freak so he will probably be picking up my skiddies.
Preston: Great!...you got the latest model, with inbuilt cleaner......I want one of those
Girlfriend: It's a selling point....believe me!

This got me to thinking. How great would it be if men came in models. I mean, you could just set out your market criteria, and search for the make and model that best suits your needs. Ebay would never be the same!

The following is a breakdown of models as I see them.....

B401 Upright man....1200W motor, microfresh filtering system, does dishes, puts out garbage, can do up own shoelaces.

ARG101-2 Upright, 1200W motor, in built deodoriser, cooks simple meals, hangs towel up after using, remembers your birthday..

T5200E 1600W motor,fully automative, including cooking, cleaning and garbage disposal modes. Offers massages, is sexually unselfish, laughs at my jokes, romantic, thoughful, marches alongside me against the social injustices in the world, and makes a killer cheesecake and carrot cake....

Ok....I admit, I'm coming across as something of a misandrist, but I have had my fair share of duds!

Fortunately boys, I do love men. It's one of those things. Us women complain about you, but in the end, if you didn't annoy us from time to time, there would be no-one to ridicule when on girls nights out!

Disclaimer All model numbers coincide with vacuum cleaner makes. Any similarity is purely coincidental.